- Anti Joke

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? fart

A man walks into a bar. He buys a beer, drinks it and walks out.

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

Rich merchant started build a new bigger home for his family. He bought good blueprints and hired some construction workers to build it up. It took 2 years for the house to finish. Just few days before moving in, he had an horrible nightmare where little green men set the house on fire. When he woke up, he heard the bad news. House was burned down during the night. Merchant was shocked and sad. After couple of weeks, he decided to build a new house. This time a smaller one. Again he bought blueprints and hired people to work for him. Almost a year later, the house was starting to be finished. And again he saw that nightmare of little green men burning the house down. At morning he already knew the news and started to investigate these happenings. Local police officer couldn't help him and so didn't anyone else he asked. Merchant decided to try once more to build new home. This time he had money only for a small farmhouse. Building it up last 6 months, and almost every night merchant was guarding the construction site for little green men. Farmhouse finished in time and merchant moved in. In couple weeks he started to relax and think that little green men stopped harassing him. At one night, couple of months after moving in. Merchant saw the nightmare again, and woke up in burning house. He escaped from the window and saved his wife and children. Then he ran to the village to call for help. The next morning, merchant was sitting next to his burned home and just thinking the motives for green men, what did he do in past so that green men were angry at him? Some villagers had come to watch the burned house and merchant saw something green in middle of the crowd. He slowly walked towards the crowd and saw this little man fleeing. He started to pursue this man and was pumped with adrealine. Didn't last long when merchant catched this little guy and held him in the ground to ask "Who are you? Do you have anything to do with those housefires?" The little green man was calm and relaxed as he answered "No."

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

Sarah Palin

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

Wumbo

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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