how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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Santa isn't real

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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