What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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What do you get when you post the same thing a million times? Hate

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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