Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

it was a breazy night my pecker was shriveld up like a loose bit of ham. i tucked it in between my legs and dicided to pull my pants down to my ancles and began to run like a sissy. i saw a stumpy little juice ed in the distance it was peter andre he told me that he wanted a slut fucken and said he wanted to pull my banjo right back to the balls and suck it till the moon goes down i cumed all over his glasses then we began to kiss i bent over for him and he stook is fat fucken trout in my dark tight cave there was swet dripping from my cock aka carl mcvittie

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

a man walks into a bar he has a few drinks and announces to his friends that hes driving home, dave (one of his friends) tells him that its a bad idea and takes his keys off of him until the next day.

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

Swag.

When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

Q: There was a cinnamon bun and a cow out flying, one of them fell.. who? A: The cinnamon bun because cinnamon bun's can't fly.

Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

What color is red paint? Red

Q: What's grey and rocky? A: A grey rocking hair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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