Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

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National security?

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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charlie sheen

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops