Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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What did the hooker get for Christmas ? AIDS.

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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What's black and fast? A treadmill.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot. Duh.

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charlie sheen

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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knock knock whos there? IRS Oh....

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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What's worse than someone who isn't racist? A racist.

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what do you call a man with a bullet hole in his leg? A man who needs t see a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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