What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a human being of Aztec descent, while a bench is an inanimate object used most frequently as a place to sit.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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Whats worse than the Halocaust? Your mom

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Knock, knock! “Who's there?” “The Gestapo.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops