knock knock. who's there pismil pismil who pigsmil cookies

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Runescape.

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

The NBA lockout

A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

Two elephants are in a bath tub. The first elephant says to the other elephant, "can you pass the soap?" The second elephant then replied, "No soap, radio."

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

Knock Knock! Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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