What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why was the boy sad? Because he met Larry.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops