What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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OIO

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Who the heck do you think you are?! Ally...duh

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops