Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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why didn't paul ride the horse? he was busy

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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my gramma died

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? because he was dead

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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