a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What does a man that has to go to the bathroom do when there is no restroom within a reasonable walking radius? He gets in his car and drives to the nearest rest stop.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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