Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

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A: I slept in your mums bed last night. B: don't care dad

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one time when i bought a sonic blast they gave me a regular? size spoon and i was like this is a huge inconvenience.

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Q:What has more brains than the baby you just shot? A:The wall behind it!!!

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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What is the worst thing about a couple of white kids playing with a couple of black kids? There are no parks or recreation centers within walking distance from there houses.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Why'd the man walk his dog His pen ran out of ink

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops