"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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Where does the king keep his armies? In a variety of military barracks and bases situated around his kingdom where they are ready to be deployed for combat or peacekeeping operations.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

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I got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen.

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What happened to the Caucasian man who went to Vegas? He lost all his money so the government took away his car and his house so he had to become homeless and live on the streets begging for money from any who walked by until he slowly starved to death after eating food left in restaurants and trashcans.

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The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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