Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

lebron

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

What rymes with milk..... milf

34

What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

you.

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

Obama 2012

Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

whats red and smells like blue paint? Hank Kovalcik

Why did the blind man cross the road? To end the suffering of a lifetime illness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...