roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Two guys walk in to a bar the third one ducks.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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women sitting on a bench quietly. they have no ability to speak.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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hrih

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A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

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Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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How Long is a Chinese name.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

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3 jews are walking into a bar. the first jew orders a shot of vodka, drinks it and says "long live my family!" the second jew orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it and says "long live my friends" the third jew orders water, because he is the one that is driving tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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