How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What is you problem!? Im retarded, what is your problem?

Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

why does horse head huffer keep posting here? because he really doesn't understand the concept.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here's my number, So call me anytime you're free, but I can't guarantee I will answer because I could be at work.

There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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