Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

Aaron Pfeifer likes men

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

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how does your hair keep changing lengths? due to my countless hours of grueling sessions in chemotherapy due to what was recently found as a terminal cancer, i wear wigs

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

Why did the priest go to jail? He had sexual relations with young boys.

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

women's rights, lol

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

A dyslexic walks into a bar. He called it a bra because he was dyslexic and dyslexics misspell things. People laughed at him because mental disabilities are inherently humorous to them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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