Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Jellybeans

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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what's up? my penis.

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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