A man went to the doctor. He had experienced some strong abdominal pain. The doctor looked at him and ordered some tests to be done. He had a kidney stone. The day after he passed the stone, he got ran over by a bus. The man's name was Bob.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Yo mama's so fat she needed a toilet that had a bigger seat (just like me)

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone What doesn't kill you is a bad attempt on your life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? Cue annoying little kids saying WHAT!!!!!!!!! A: To check out all the chicks

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family how do you kill the plumbers family with a wrench

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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Q: Whats the difference between water melon and a baby? A: Watermelon is a fruit.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm black give me money

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops