My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

thumb_up thumb_down -34

girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mama's so fat, she gets confused with Santa Claus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A fish walks into a bad Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops