"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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A man walks around a bar.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Hi

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Runescape.

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What did the nurse say to the doctor? Boo-hoo, i was pranked over the phone, i'm gonna kill myself now.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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