Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wumbo

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops