You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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What is funnier than the funniest thing in the world? Something funnier than the world!

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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why did the girl moan in pain? she got punched in the face.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops