What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

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If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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Why did Elmo get depressed? All his friends sacrifised themselves to satan

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

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Why did the black man get kicked out of his hotel room? He did't pay and was in debt so they couldn't allow him to stay.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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Skrillex.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Patriarchy.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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