What's worse then getting socks on Christmas? Being murdered by a bear.

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Who invented apple? God

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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His face was drawn, but the curtains were real.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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