What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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what do you do after throwing a water bottle in the trash? Hug a tree

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Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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how did the man with the gun die? obesity

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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The dewey decimal system

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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George W. Bush

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What do you call a man who interru- SHUT UP!

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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