Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Welcome to Watchmojo dot com and today we'll be talking about the Top 10 numbers from 1 through 10. In this episode we will be discussing which numbers from 1 to 10 gain popularity and mainstream appeal amongst people from all over the world. Number 10. 10 (Ten) Number 9. 6 (Six) Number 8. 8 (Eight) Number 7. 4 (Four) Number 6. 5 (Five) Number 5. 3 (Three) Number 4. 2 (Two) Number 3. 9 (Nine) Number 2. 7 (Seven) Here are some honorable mentions: 3.14 9.9 1 and a half Number 1. 1 (One)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has insomnia.

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Yep, super duper stressed, all of the time, but how did you know?

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops