What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

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What's black and white and read all over? Corn, I lied about everything.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are stupid. It most likely starved to death when it got stuck in a hole.

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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what's worse than the holocaust? nothing.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny?

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

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Who invented apple? God

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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