If life hands you melons, you might be dyslexic.

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call me if you want xxx on 0407777235

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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Q. What do you get when you cross a man, a bear and a pig? A. ManBearPig

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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