Why is Brendan stupid. Because he's mentally retarded due to the fact he was dropped as a chil.d

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Women's Professional _________

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

thumb_up thumb_down -17

That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops