Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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hrih

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Obama 2012

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What's more stinky than a fart? More farts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops