How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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What rymes with milk..... milf

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What do you get when you a bunch of women and men with a high sex drive? A group of men and women with a high sex drive.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Why wouldnt NASA send a blackman into space without a space suit? Because space is a vacuum there is no air no atmosphere the tempurature is almost zero kelvin so if you ever go out int space please dont take off your helmet out there because you would freeze to death almost instantaniously.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops