Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Why did the Old man die? He died of old age.

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what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

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What happened to the cow that couldn't moo? It died because it could not make it's needs known to it's fellow herd and was bullied and isolated.

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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what's worse than a dead baby? a pile of dead babies. what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath? the live one has to eat it's way out. what's worse than a pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out? more dead babies dumped on the already existing pile. what's worse than the giant pile of dead babies with a live one underneath that has to eat it's way out, but there are more dead babies piled on top? this is all in your basement.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Why was john's balls itchy? Because he recently gained a severe infestation of pubic lice.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Albert your flies undone.

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what happend to the kid standing on a railway, he got hit by a train

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What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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This is funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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