Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What did the cookie monster eat? Food

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How many fingers am i holding up? 4

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they are run over by a steam roller? Dead

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

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Kid 1 Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken. Kid 2 Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys. Kid 1 You know what? I think you're right Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Stephen Hawking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops