what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

Haha, I get it..

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

What is the difference between England and yogurt? One is a Western-European country and the other is a dairy product.

Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

Why did the blind man fail his math test? Because he had been raped and murdered. Going blind is a side effect of death.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

roses are red pickles are green i like your legs and whats in between

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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