What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

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What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

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cats are pussies

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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what did the British horse say to the man who owned him? nothing all he sad was neigh.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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