What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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How do you get rich? Sell knives at warped tour.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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I love you

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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What do you call a red light A:soon to be green

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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whats worse than finding 10 dead baby's in 1 garbage can... finding 1 dead baby's in 10 garbage can

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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There is an elephant, a zebra, a lion, and a black man. The black man is enjoying his visit to the zoo.

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whats the capital of congo famine

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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