Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

What did the republican say to the democrat? You suck!

What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They brutally whipped and tortured her.

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

34

Why did the window break? I threw a pig out it.

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

2 ducks walk into a bar. The first orders a drink, drinks it, and drops dead. The other duck said, "Bar tender! What did you put in my friends drink?" The bar tender said, "Poison."

womens sports...

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

Why was the boy sad? His friend stabbed him with a fork. Also, his mother died. Also, his dad raped him Also, he has a chode. And it really sucks when you have a chode.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

How did the cat die? I just it nine times

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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