Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch!" he shouted after he stubbed his toe on a table.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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A black guy, a Mexican guy and a Jew walk into a hospital. They are all undergoing the same chemotherapy treatment.

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Want to hear a joke? Me to...

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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womens sports...

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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You.

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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