A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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What has two legs and graduated from ninja school? Okyrin Sakajuru. He also went on to win two all city titles and roundhouse kick of the day, performed on a wild tiger. As time passes, he stops practicing and becomes a lethargic street criminal. He is eventually captured by local authorities and charged with the robberies and two counts of aggravated assault. Leaving his children behind to the system where they are neglected and depressed about their fathers situation. He makes bail after 3 months and opens a strip club for dwarfs but loses it all after not finding stripper poles that are dwarf friendly.

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

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knock knock whos there ? Jordan Jordan who ? Jordan Walters

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Come in" "Come in who?"

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A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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You're momma's so fat, she's got high cholesterol.

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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