Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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Little Johnny asks his father how babies are made. So the father rapes him from behind.

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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The Holocaust

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Whats the difference between a new ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a new ferrari in my garage.

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What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Did you see the picture of Helen Keller's father? No. Lemme Google it. Oh cool; he had a beard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops