roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

"Ask me if I'm a billboard" "Are you a billboard?" "No"

Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

acuna

why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

Knock, Knock. Come in.

What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

lebron

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...