What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a truck

How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

Chikin nuggets

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

Q. The square root of 69 is 8 something, right? A. Yes, to be exact it is 8.30662386.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

What do you call a fly with no wings? Joseph

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...