How did the cat die? I just it nine times

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i think i have a problem with these jokes they aren't finny

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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What did the African boy get for his Christmas present for the first time? Leprosy

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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A Squirrel jumps into a bar, lands on one of the empty tables and begins eating the Peanuts out of a bowl. The bartender thinks to himself "I really should close that window to keep the Squirrels out..."

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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