I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Ask me if I am an Orange. B: "Are you an Orange?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once a man asked a lady working at the supermarket, Can I see your avocados? She kindly walked him over to the rack where they were being held.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'm not gay (phrase) - A phrase commonly used by straight men.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and red but looks purple? Mixed paint!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops