What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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Robert Mugabe.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

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Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

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Nero was my name thousands of years ago, but I believe that those With clearer sight, brighter minds, those you remaining WITHOUT the sense of Complete doom, oh children of the night, know far better, turn to my side, and sheep you shall be no more, together we shall be Whole once again, the sheperd of this New world! Thumb this up if you have seen the signs... Thumb this up if you have seen the sins... ...End up buried under the corpses of everything you knew if you have no vision in this New dawn of ages endlessly darknening, and pretend that the internet will be there, or that the horsehead network ever mattered to you for that matter... :You say insanity today, sunday 27th January 2016, you will be the one running, begging that Our world is but YOUR INSANITY, a nightmare, which only Death will awaken you from

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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