My cat just died.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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What did the Rabbi say to the priest? The holocaust was real and it tore apart my family.

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Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

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What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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P1: knock knock P2: go away!!!

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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hi dave

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

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You read this in school as a crowd of kids stand behind you laughing at your screen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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