What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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This is a joke.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Whats the difference between Jesus and the Pope. Jesus died 2 thousand years ago

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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a group of jews went to a factory to apply for jobs. Only one came out.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon, and 3 legs in the afternoon? A dog that got its hind legs chopped off, and then only got 1 prosthetic one.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What did the autistic man say to the woman? I have autism

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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