Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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What's two plus two? Window

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Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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An man walked into a bar. Unbeknownst to him, the bar happened to be a having a Rave party. The man, having epilepsy, proceeded to have a seizure. Luckily, a paramedic was there and saved his life.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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a blond, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on top of a mountain. they freeze to death and the rescue team discovers their frozen bodies two days later.

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3

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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What do you call five black guys surrounding one white guy who bosses them around? Whatever his name is.

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Major League Soccer

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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What comes after 69? mouthwash

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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Brett Favre sent me a pic of his penis. I then compared it to my own and felt good about my general ackage size

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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