Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because having no sense of hearing or vision she is completely incapable of operating any sort of machinery.

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I'm 4 and what is this?

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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roses are red grass is green your little ugly a*s makes me wanna scream

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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A mentally disabled person asked a tree, "Are you a tree?" the tree didn't say anything because it can not speak.

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Peyton Peyton who? Peyton Manning

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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Me: Ask me if I'm an orange. You: Are you an orange? Me: No

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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