Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, I am a bitch, and so are you!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the boy have no ankles? Because his legs were amputated

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

thumb_up thumb_down +14

stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops