Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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The Holocaust

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Grandma's dead. call the paramedics.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Chikin nuggets

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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